18.4% of men reported erectile difficulties during their first intercourse experience. By the time men are in their 40’s, 40% of them will have experienced erectile difficulties. Feeling distressed, many share their concern with a medical doctor and seek erectile dysfunction medication.

The blue pill as the miracle drug for male sexual dysfunction

Within the first six months of approval by the US Federal Drug Administration in 2002, 5.3 million prescriptions of Sildenafil Citrate (brand name Viagra) were written as the erectile dysfunction miracle. A media blitz followed featuring men celebrating with impassioned enthusiasm at the restoration of their manhood and masculinity while their female partners looked in awe at their virile hero. The tiny blue pill promised the hero it would save their intimacy and marriage.

The hero vs. the blue pill

When the hero comes into my office, his intake forms are vaguely filled out. This sets the stage for an issue so shameful that by acknowledging it on paper, the emotional weight becomes too much to bare.

“I wasn’t sure how much to put on my form.” He’ll state.

“That’s okay. I recognize talking about sex and intimacy can feel super awkward. Would you feel more comfortable with me asking questions to get things started?” I’ll reply.

“Yes.”

Honoring men’s sexuality

As a sex therapist, I’m astounded when I hear a male clients, many in their early 20’s, share that they have erectile dysfunction. I’ve pondered how and why the prescription for the blue pill is deemed the gold-standard treatment for male sexual dysfunction. Clients share that they’re told that it helps to quell anxiety, build self -confidence, increase desire AND it’ll ensure a firm lasting erection so he can give her an explosive orgasm.

Despite the hyped benefits of the blue pill, a common narrative is also shared; the pill doesn’t work 100% of the time, it doesn’t increase desire, hasn’t fixed their relationship, or lowered their anxiety and worry. In fact a new anxiety emerges. “Dr. Reece, what if my body now relies on the blue pill every time I’m going to have sex?”

Men’s sexuality cannot be reduced to a singular invariable object to be fixed by taking a pill. It’s important to explore ALL aspects of men’s lives with due diligence and attention. Sexism also plays a role in significantly impeding the ability to fully experience the human potential. For men, sexism ignores their strengths, vulnerabilities, feelings, self-determination, and authenticity.

The ability to perform in and of itself is an indicator of how sexism weaves through men’s sexuality. Sex is not performance. And men’s bodies aren’t theatre. Being a spectator to performance instead of being present and savoring the moment, sets men up for failure and for some men, all or nothing.

While the blue pill has been helpful for men, if a man can experience an erection through masturbation or nocturnal penile tumescence, also known as sleep erections, and is cleared of any co-occurring condition such as diabetes, cardiovascular disease, or hypothyroidism, he can most likely experience an erection with a partner without medication.

Understanding the intersections of biological, psychological, social and sexual wellness aspects of men’s lives are crucial. When we unpack and unravel these important parts of men’s lives, we reveal all the available choices and options to increase sexual pleasure and satisfaction. No longer does he become a spectator to his own performance. The hero label dissolves and sex is now an experience of pleasure, passion, vitality, and love.